What is “toxic positive”? I asked an expert

At some point in your life, you’ve probably read or heard the importance of being positive and always focusing on the bright side. But being positive all the time may not be the best approach in all situations. We are all human, and therefore we all have the different emotions we experience every day. These feelings are happiness, sadness, anger, shame, pride, envy, etc. It’s nothing but part of being human, so it’s not embarrassing. And we all have good days and bad days. One of the most important things we can do is express genuine emotions to our loved ones.

But sometimes people may not respond in the best way. For example, if you are going through difficult times and have some negative feelings, and the person you are talking to just tell you to stay positive accordingly, which may not be as useful as they think. This is called “positive toxicity” and can have a negative effect on you and make it even more difficult to actually handle your emotions properly.

To learn more about the effects of toxic positive tests, I spoke with licensed psychologist and host Michele Reno. Dr. Michele and the heart are important.

What is a toxic positive?

“Positive toxicity generally involves dismissing negative feelings in favor of focusing only on the positive,” Leno said. When you talk to someone who is struggling but expresses positives in return and has put aside their true feelings, they may be suffering from a toxic positive.

We can apply this to ourselves and to each other, and it is often learned as a social characteristic. For example, you may have heard phrases like “Strengthen and not too bad” or “Just smile and get through it.” These phrases are not always used as toxic positives. Communication has a big nuance, but the ideas contained in these phrases strongly represent how toxic positives appear.

In many cases, positive toxicity is also a form of gaslight. American Psychological Association Define “Gaslight” as “manipulating others to doubt your perception, experience, or understanding of an event.” Suppose you try to make yourself or others feel irrational and irrational to have negative emotions instead of positive ones. In that case, you may be engaged in both toxic positive and gaslight.

“If a toxic positive test is used in a relationship, it could be similar to gaslight because the partner may use it to control and manipulate the situation,” Leno said.

Bright is a similar phenomenon to toxic positives, but it is not necessarily extreme. They are often used synonyms, but bright ones can also represent situations where negative emotions are neglected but not ignored. In contrast, toxic positive tests tend to put more pressure on them to completely dismantle negative emotions in favor of positive emotions. Reno said these two phenomena are very similar. “They can discourage real emotions and feel emotions emotionally. They don’t want to deal with your “negative” emotions, so they discourage them from discussing them. ”

How does a positive turn into toxicity?

It is often difficult for people to understand the depth of their emotions. Reno says that positivity can become toxic when used to hide real emotions. She further emphasizes how this can suppress people and lead to negativity rather than less. “Pretending to make you feel overwhelmed and anxious when you’re not happy when you’re happy…but the internal tension grows until there’s a solution.

Signs of positive toxicity

Toxic Positives focus on dismissing negatives in favor of positives, even if it is unrealistic to do so (especially when it is unrealistic). As a result, most of the signs of positive toxicity will reflect this pattern of avoidance and redirection. These signs differ in how we reveal ourselves to others and others to our environment, like ourselves and at work, but they are all thematically similar. The main differences are those who are starting to test positive for toxicity and those who are targeted. We can do this to ourselves and each other and receive this from our environment (think of an encouragement poster at work).

Reno listed the following signs of positive toxicity:

• “I can’t accept my feelings as they are.” This is a strong indication that we have internally applied toxic positives and not allowing negative emotions.
• “I feel uncomfortable with your feelings.” This is difficult because many emotions are challenging and many people find themselves uncomfortable with their emotions. But if this discomfort leads to your negative emotions becoming mundane and instead exaggerating your positive emotions, you are probably squeezing yourself with a toxic positive.
• “I dismiss the experience of others because I feel it’s negative.” If a person dismisses your experience because they are purely negative, they may be applying a toxic positive. The idea that your experience should be inherently positive without allowing the possibility of negativity is a powerful example of toxicity positive.
• “I accuse people of being too sensitive or not having thick skin because they are upset.” It means that a person is inferior or “not strong enough” due to negative experiences or feelings. The idea here is to effectively embarrass and avoid experiencing something that is not positive. It is highly toxic in itself.

The effects of positive toxicity

Positive toxicity can generally have negative effects, as ironically as it is. According to Reno, people who have tested positive for toxicity may “feel like they’re ignored, inferior and unrelated… It causes or exacerbates anxiety Depression. We walk around pretending that we are essentially nothing wrong, which can reduce our ability to deal with it. Others may recognize our interaction as fake and facade-like. ”

Individually, This can lead to avoiding emotional growth and contribute to an era of obsession. No matter how much emotion is avoided, they will find a way to show up. In general, the earlier you start processing them, the better.

in a relationship, Positive toxicity can easily contribute to avoiding relationship imbalances, gas lighting, and difficult emotional work together. As a result, the ties in that relationship may be weaker than they are, and the overall health of the relationship and the individual may suffer. At work, you can get a positive toxicity Increases workers’ burnout speedrequires a certain degree of emotional perfection that does not exist.

In each situation, positive toxicity can reduce the functioning and well-being of the parties involved.

“While encouraging someone to consider positive aspects of the situation, rejecting their current feelings can make them even more annoyed,” Leno said. “Bent is an emotional way of processing. You need to feel emotions and know that they are effective.”

How to deal with toxic positive tests

When it comes to dealing with a toxic positive, Reno says, “It’s okay to accept a positive, but not a risk of reliability. First, acknowledge the problem. Second, think about your feelings. Finally, think about possible solutions.” This recipe helps individuals to face and process negative emotions and experiences while striving towards positivity, but does not mandate it or deny the difficulties.

When faced with a toxic positive, Reno says, “It’s best to be direct. If someone suggests to deny your feelings, let them know that it won’t work for you. “This will make you uncomfortable. Essentially, you are entitled and are entitled to your feelings, but neither of you have the right to direct others’ emotions. The line between policing actions and emotions is often cautious, but should be identifiable with effort.”

If your toxic positive experience is severe enough, you might want to Talk to a mental health expert. Reno told me that signs of reaching this point include “high anxiety, sadness, fatigue, avoidance, inability to cope with mild stress or even change, and difficulty being around other people because they are not “happy.”

Positive toxicity alternatives

Positive toxicity is very obvious to avoid, so some alternative approaches to emotions that may promote healthier outcomes should be considered. These include intentionally experiencing and processing negative emotions and experiences. They also focus on moving towards the positive. However, the difference between positive and toxic positive health and open pursuits is important. The difference mainly comes in whether you face and deal with the negative on your way to positive, or try to suppress and ignore the negative in favor of a positive.

Feel your feelings, good or bad

“Make yourself feel good or bad is healthier than trying to restrain them,” Leno said. The idea here is that no matter what we go through and go through, we have to acknowledge it and go through it. If they ignore or suppress their emotions, they really don’t go anywhere. They still affect us on some levels, but we can’t notice because we internally state that these feelings are not present.

When you decide to be emotionally a certain way, you may have noticed that it doesn’t tend to work smoothly. We cannot have immediate, direct control of our emotions. In many respects, Emotions are internal processes that occur to us And it is something that should be experienced, not dictated.

However, we can distort our experiences over the long term by doing healthy emotional labor. When we face and process experiences, we maintain a healthier emotional baseline with less negative accumulation and less self-applying pressure. This creates an internal environment that further encourages a positive experience. In short, allowing yourself to honestly experience your negative emotions, you may end up having more authentic, positive emotions in the long run.

There are several ways people talk about having a healthy relationship with your emotions as a healthy alternative to healthy positive positive, but they are all summarised into the same basic idea: feel your emotions, good or bad. Some approaches, such as treatment or meditationalthough they may have a unique structure to support individuals with these goals, all healthy alternatives with toxic positive share the same focus.

Conclusion

A positive toxicity is when a person focuses on the positive, while avoiding something extremely negative so that a negative experience can be considered a violation. We can apply toxic positives to ourselves and each other and even penetrate it into our social environment.

The central issue of toxic positivity is its focus on avoiding a wide range of genuine emotions in favour of denial, suppression and illicit positive sacred sites. The long-term outcome of this can be detrimental to many levels of individuals, relationships and groups. A toxic, positive, healthier alternative involves allowing us to see and process our emotions in good or bad, and ourselves in genuine ways.